Dear non-boyfriend with whom I have spent the last 3 weeks of my life secretly dating,
I didn't want to be in love. I didn't want to be with someone...with anyone. I never wanted someone to buy me coffee before work, or bring me ice cream, or ask to spend a day off just doing regular things with me like getting my car an oil change and taking Cam to apply for passports. I didn't want someone to get into my stupid reality TV shows with me, and ask to be caught up on Californication, Lost, Big Love and 24. I didn't want someone to come over and totally dig my cats, and think I'm sexiest when I'm in pyjamas, or be totally cool with me just sitting and playing the guitar....poorly. I never wanted someone to get to know my body so well, and be so in tune with my responses, or someone who actually spent enough time and effort learning those things. I never asked to be heard by someone so completely, or to have an effortless conversation about anything with anyone. I never wanted to feel safe and connected and totally in the right place and the right moment whenever I am with a person; to feel guarded and defenseless all at the same time. And I certainly didn't ask for any of that at this point in my life.
So I really hope you know what you've gotten yourself in to.
Regrettably 100% Yours,
Me
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