Living with Cam is going to be interesting.
Currently, my love life is.... not. There isn't a love life at all. I have an ex-fiancee living in the spare room. While I am 100% ready to move forward with my life and open to whatever that life may offer, I do not feel that it is right to introduce new people into my home right now with C living in it. I have far too much respect for him to rub it in his face that he lost me. He already knows what his actions have cost him. When he has moved out, some time has passed and I become emotionally involved with another man, I will tell him. He will do the same with me. After 4 years and the history that we have built together, we would rather hear it from each other than from one of the many people we both know. Becoming emotionally involved with another man will take some time anyway. I don't think it's responsible to take my current baggage into a new relationship. I'm happy to heal for a while.
So I don't bring people home. I go out. I hang out with friends. I have met some new people. I have met some incredibly hot new people. I have entertained the idea of having one of said hot persons to my residence. But I don't. I am dying to get laid. Plain and simple. Not to jump into another relationship, not to "fill the emotional void" or to rebound. I just really want to have some good sex.
Which brings me to the sad part (as if this wasn't sad already lol.) I'm lying in bed last night. Alone. Thinking about what I cannot have. We always want what we can't have, but at that current moment, I REALLY wanted it. Also at that current moment - that exact moment - K walked in the back door, down the stairs and into my baby brother's bedroom. K is the girlfriend. It was after midnight. It was her first time over since he moved in, and I know how my brother thinks. The long and short of it is, at the precise instant that I was dying over the fact that I can't get any until C moves out, my baby brother was getting some in my freaking basement. Christening the new pad, as he would say it. The fact that it was happening at all is disturbing. But given my current situation, it was just.... Ack.
The universe is sick and twisted I tell you.
Currently, my love life is.... not. There isn't a love life at all. I have an ex-fiancee living in the spare room. While I am 100% ready to move forward with my life and open to whatever that life may offer, I do not feel that it is right to introduce new people into my home right now with C living in it. I have far too much respect for him to rub it in his face that he lost me. He already knows what his actions have cost him. When he has moved out, some time has passed and I become emotionally involved with another man, I will tell him. He will do the same with me. After 4 years and the history that we have built together, we would rather hear it from each other than from one of the many people we both know. Becoming emotionally involved with another man will take some time anyway. I don't think it's responsible to take my current baggage into a new relationship. I'm happy to heal for a while.
So I don't bring people home. I go out. I hang out with friends. I have met some new people. I have met some incredibly hot new people. I have entertained the idea of having one of said hot persons to my residence. But I don't. I am dying to get laid. Plain and simple. Not to jump into another relationship, not to "fill the emotional void" or to rebound. I just really want to have some good sex.
Which brings me to the sad part (as if this wasn't sad already lol.) I'm lying in bed last night. Alone. Thinking about what I cannot have. We always want what we can't have, but at that current moment, I REALLY wanted it. Also at that current moment - that exact moment - K walked in the back door, down the stairs and into my baby brother's bedroom. K is the girlfriend. It was after midnight. It was her first time over since he moved in, and I know how my brother thinks. The long and short of it is, at the precise instant that I was dying over the fact that I can't get any until C moves out, my baby brother was getting some in my freaking basement. Christening the new pad, as he would say it. The fact that it was happening at all is disturbing. But given my current situation, it was just.... Ack.
The universe is sick and twisted I tell you.
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