Sad Day

Today was a sad day. It was a good enough day for me. Got a lot of things done at the office, had some laughs with my peeps, and went for dinner with a friend. B's a lot of fun to talk to, we have a good time. And he smokes, so I don't feel so bad when I do it around him. I know it's bad for me. I want to quit, I really do. But I already feel so shameful about it, it's nice to know that the person I'm dining with doesn't judge me by my "post dinner smoke." Plus, tonight he paid. Bonus. Next Tuesday I pay, but for now, I win at not paying for dinner! We've decided to do Payday dinners." Where we will take turns buying dinner every payday. B has ADD (as does my brother coincidentally,) and I myself am easily distracted, so the idea of a scheduled friendly interlude appeals to us both. Payday is easy to remember. And we enjoy the company.

But at any rate, regardless of myself, today was a sad day. The following things made it a sad day:

• I have a friend severely ill in the hospital. Life threatening is scary when it's on TV. It is terrifying when it is happening to one of the purest, kindest, warmest individuals I have met. And I don't just say that because he is ill. It was well known to me how fabulous he was before he got sick. I'm hurting for the people closest to him. For the women closest to his heart. I'm hurting for him, and the uphill battle he faces. I am praying and trying to "know" that he will win the fight.

• Some other friends of mine are at the brink of a divorce. And I got dragged into the middle of it today. I tried so hard to remain neutral. But it is a scary thing, knowing both sides of a dishonest story. I encouraged the one part approaching me to seek answers from the other party, but I'm not sure he even knew what questions to ask. The sad part is, I truly believe that they love each other, and that this breakdown is a symptom, not the problem.

• J's -She's my person. My ultimate friend. My buddy for life- mom is in the hospital after surgery. Also very scary and also a bit unknown. And J's getting married in 3 months. She just bought a house, is stressed in every way imaginable and currently falling apart. I just want to go and take care of her. But I can't. She has D for that now, and I know she'll be OK.

• K and Cam split today. Poor kid. He's pretty sad right now. K wasn't the one for him. I know this. She was actually not very nice to him. But his little heart is broken, and that is so sad.

I'm ok today. I'm just reflective for the people I love who are not OK today. They are in my thoughts and in my heart.

This world spins sooo fast. And "random" is all that really ever happens to anyone. Regardless of the planning, thinking and choosing that we do, we can never know what will be thrown at us. Life happens, and we roll with it. I guess I'm OK with that.